I Love My Child, Too: Keeping the Bonds Strong When Your Child Primarily Lives with the Other Parent The Tennessee courts maintain the position that the ideal situation in child custody decisions is that the child would maintain a bonded, nurturing relationship with both parents after the divorce. In a typical divorce, one parent will get primary residential custody of the child and the other parent will be granted parenting time, and they will have a set residential schedule with the child. Unless they take care, this arrangement can begin to erode the relationship between the parent who sees his or her child less frequently than he or she used to when everyone lived under one roof.

Whether you are the child’s mother or father, you can still play a vital role in your child’s life despite the fact that they live primarily with their other parent. You just have to make a firm commitment to devote the necessary time and attention to being the best parent you can be in the time you have with your child. Here are some ways in which you can strengthen your bonds:

  • Communicate regularly with your child. Try creating a schedule of phone calls to check in and see how their day went and if they are older, help with homework. You have a right to communicate with your child, and if your co-parent does anything to try to restrict your contact with your child, let your Nashville family law attorney know right away. They can help enforce the terms of the custody agreement, which has the force of law. It is important to note, however, that you are NOT guaranteed the right to speak to your child every day unless that is part of your divorce agreement, so you may want to talk to your former spouse about setting the schedule.
  • Follow the parenting plan agreement. As a part of the divorce you and your ex completed a parenting plan. The purpose of that document is to ease the transition of parenting as a couple to parenting as a team that has the best interests of the child at heart. Parents who work together and communicate with each other have a much better chance at developing that same cooperative relationship with their children, who will notice the efforts you make. Additionally, your child could be more understanding about circumstances when the plan might not go the way it usually does, and will feel secure in his or her relationship with you.
  • Take the time to really be involved in your child’s life. Meet their teachers and attend school events, Get involved in their sporting or other extra-curricular activities. Find out what they enjoy doing and encourage it, while also exposing them to new opportunities to discover the world around them. Create normal routines at your house and make sure that they have a special place to call their own. When your child comes for a visit, make the most of your time with them and always show up for your scheduled parenting times.

Just because you do not have primary residential custody of your child does not mean that you have to lose out on having a bonded relationship. At the law firm of Miller Upshaw Family Law, PLLC, we help families move through divorce and custody negotiations without severing the bonds of family. Contact us today to reserve an in-person or video consultation with an experienced Nashville family law attorney.