For many parents who have divorced, finding the best possible solution for parenting time is their highest priority. Some are willing to trying anything, even more unconventional methods, if it A) allows them to be with their child as much as possible, and B) helps keeps their child feeling safe and secure. “Bird nesting” (sometimes just called “nesting”) is a co-parenting arrangement where one parent rotates in as the other rotates out of the family home after divorce.

If it seems a little strange to you to try such an option, remember this: divorce can be especially difficult for children. Parents break up their marriage, sell the family home and each move on to separate lives while they shuttle the children back and forth between the new households. Dealing with their parents’ divorce, moving to a new home and possibly starting at a new school and the disruption of parenting time arrangements can be hard on a child. The nesting approach is designed to give children stability in the form of their family home. In other words, Mom and Dad might be divorced, but at least the child can keep his or her old room and familiar surroundings.

What does it take to make bird-nesting work?

Obviously, this kind of arrangement will not work for everyone. Both parents must:

• Come up with a detailed parenting plan that outlines how the arrangement will work, and what happens to the house when they mutually agree to end the arrangement.
• Be able to afford this type of arrangement. Bird-nesting is not the most cost-effective option for co-parenting after divorce.
• Have a cordial enough relationship to be able to remain so closely in one another’s lives after the divorce.
• Live in close proximity to the family home, and agree not to relocate for a specified period of time.
• Agree to cooperate on managing the household and disciplining the children.

The success of the arrangement relies substantially on the health of the relationship between the co-parents. If conflict arises that they are unable to resolve, it may be challenging to keep this arrangement going. If you decide you want to try this particular type of arrangement, it is crucial that you seek the counsel of a skilled Nashville divorce attorney. There is a tremendous amount of planning that needs to go into this kind of plan, and both parties need a way to end it amicably, either by choice or by necessity.

The best thing to do before a couple decides to embark on a bird-nest custody arrangement is to sit down with an experienced family law attorney and work through all of the issues involved– the finances, the schedule, how this arrangement will impact the other people in each of the parent’s lives, and how disruptive it might be when it is time to end the arrangement before the youngest child goes off to college. You need a back-up plan, so to speak, in case things do not work the way you thought they would.

It is possible to create a life after divorce that helps to minimize its effect on your children and family. Our experienced Nashville divorce lawyers can help you develop a parenting plan that works for your children and your lifestyle in a way that protects them and allows them to flourish. Please contact the knowledgeable legal team at Miller Upshaw Family Law, PLLC to reserve an in-person or video consultation time to answer your questions about your child custody case.