When you are preparing to go through divorce mediation, there are a few things to keep in mind as you begin this process. Given that both parties must be willing participants in order for divorce mediation to work, you both have a vested interest in a fruitful outcome that does not involve rancor or conflict.

A breakdown in communication is one of the leading causes of divorce, so it may be a bit ironic that successfully mediating your divorce could improve the way you communicate with your former spouse once the divorce is over and you have each moved on with your lives.

Here are some tips to help make sure that your divorce mediation process goes as smoothly as possible.

1. Be willing to go first. Divorce mediation is about negotiating an agreement that will work for both parties. If you walk into the process with an attitude of being open to compromise without allowing yourself to be taken advantage of, it can help the process move along smoothly.
2. Prepare to negotiate fairly. Negotiations work best when there is a win-win rather than a win-lose attitude. If you are committed to negotiating in good faith, then it helps each party get what they want. Each of you will likely have to give a little bit of ground, but in the end both should be able to live with the outcome.
3. Find a way to manage your emotions. Divorce is hard whether your goals are completely aligned or not. Emotions run high and they can taint the proceedings. You might consider working with a therapist if you are having trouble working through the emotions related to your divorce. When you can leave the past in the past and approach divorce mediation without allowing painful emotions to cloud your judgment and make unskilled choices, you will enjoy a much more productive transaction.
4. Create a list of your concerns about the divorce. Rather than thinking of this as a list of non-negotiables, think of this list as the things that you are concerned about, such as custody of your child, who will get the vacation house or the dog, and how other marital assets will be divided. Your spouse will likely also have a list that each of you, your attorneys and the mediator will work to satisfy both parties as much as possible, given the constraints of the process. Everything is negotiable, so being prepared to keep an open mind and be flexible will keep the process productive.
5. Be as open and honest as possible during the mediation process. Trying to hide things from your spouse, your attorney and the court could get you into legal hot water. The mediation process requires both parties to negotiate in good faith and to make full disclosure of all assets, income and liabilities. If someone is not honest about these items, the agreement that is reached could be overturned by the Court.

Do your homework and learn about the mediation process and what you can do to help make the process work successfully for everyone involved. Meet with your lawyer in advance and express your concerns and let them know what things are most important to you. It is important that your divorce attorney fully understand what your wishes are, in order for her to accurately and effectively negotiate on your behalf. Ultimately, participating in mediation with the intent to understand the other party’s point of view will help make your divorce mediation process productive.

When you are ready to begin mediation, the skilled Nashville divorce attorneys of Karla C. Miller and Associates, PLLC are there to help you. Please contact or call our knowledgeable legal team at 615-391-4200 to reserve an in-person or video consultation time.