When you are considering the dissolution of your marriage, the thought of sitting down with your spouse to undergo a mediation process may be overwhelming. However, mediation has shown to be a beneficial tool, and is required for contested divorces under Tennessee law. (T.C.A. 36-4-131(a)) If you are seeking a divorce in Tennessee, you must undergo mediation unless you and your spouse reach an agreement on your own.

Successful mediation means that spouses reach some type of settlement. Be prepared for this to take all day, especially if the divorce is contentious. In cases where mediation cannot help you resolve your concerns, you should prepare yourself for the inevitability of a trial.

Tips for a successful mediation session

Because you are required to undergo this process, being prepared is the best way to enter into the mediation process with confidence, no matter what other feelings you may be going through. First, your lawyer will help you select a mediator from a vetted list from the Court. Next, your mediation day and time will be set. Typically, the time will be blocked out for the duration of business hours. It is customary for mediations to take six hours or more. Your lawyer will be there with you, and your spouse’s lawyer will be there with them. Typically, you and your lawyer will be in one room and your spouse and their lawyer will be in another room, with the mediator moving back and forth to facilitate the process which, hopefully, will culminate in an agreement.

Some simple tips to prepare yourself for mediation day are:

• Get a good night’s sleep. You want to be well-rested and aware of what it happening.
• Avoid alcohol the night before the mediation session. Fatigue, dehydration and a headache will make the day longer and harder.
• Have a hearty breakfast as opposed to just a cup of coffee or tea. Too much caffeine without any food can leave you feeling anxious
• Create a detailed list of any questions you have for your attorney. You will inevitably think of something (or multiple things) that you meant to ask about, but forgot. Write them all down and address them with your Nashville divorce lawyer before the mediation day.
• Be punctual. Being late can contribute to feelings of ill-will – by your soon-to-be-ex and to anyone else.
• Practice meditation. Not every mediation session goes as you expect, and you should prepare yourself for that possibility. Deep breathing, meditation – even one of those little stress balls that you can squeeze when you feel overwhelmed – can help you cope.

What happens after mediation is completed?

If your mediation was successful, you may have reached a workable settlement that leaves you with hope for the future. Divorce is never easy, but a successful mediation can make it much more simple – and potentially less stressful for your children and family. If you settle your case, you will likely sign all paperwork on that day.  Then, your attorney can help you take steps to implement the plan put in place for dissolution, asset division, and parenting time. In divorces where mediation is not successful, litigation or trial may follow.

The Nashville divorce attorneys at Miller Upshaw Family Law, PLLC, can speak with you about your options and best next steps.  Please call 615-391-4200 or use our contact form to reserve an in-person or video consultation with our dedicated legal team.