Some of the decisions you make during your divorce will have a lasting impact for the rest of your life. Therefore, it makes sense to make smart choices now, to ensure that you are not bogged down by those decisions (or any regrets) in your future. Here are five tips for you to consider as you begin the divorce process:

1.    Get a clear understanding of your financial situation and your marital assets.

Take an inventory of everything you have, the estimated value of your marital assets, account balances, investments and any other marital property that will be subject to division in the divorce. Do not attempt to hide any assets, from your lawyer or from your soon-to-be-ex-spouse; when the court discovers it, you may be held in contempt, and those assets will be equitably divided anyway.

2.    Avoid making other major life-changing decisions.

Going through a divorce is an emotional experience. We have found that some of our clients, when they are feeling angry or frustrated or depressed, may look to make big, life-altering changes under the guise of “New Life, New Me.” If you can, try to work through and resolve the divorce first. Once the divorce is final, your perspective and priorities will likely change in ways you could never imagine right now, and you want to be in a position where you can make changes that impact you and your children (if applicable) in healthy, positive ways.

3.    Focus on the “business” aspects of your divorce.

At its root, divorce is a business transaction. If couples could view themselves as dissolving a contract and set feelings aside, the divorce may be easier to handle – but we know that isn’t always possible. The longer two people have lived together as husband and wife, partners in life and in raising a family, the more difficult it can be when one party decides to walk away. If you are finding it hard to deal with your feelings, try looking at your divorce as a business transaction first, and then seek counseling or therapy (if you need it) outside of the process, to help you with your emotional responses and mental health.

4.    Set your priorities, but remain as flexible as possible.

Decide on your priorities: what is most important to you, and what you are willing to let go? Make sure that your lawyer knows your priorities, and what your non-negotiables are. At the same time, it is important to remain as flexible as possible. Knowing exactly what you want and having your main priorities clear in your mind, gives you the space to be less intractable in other areas. Digging your heels in over a collection of spoons you don’t even like, for example, can and will make the process more difficult.

5.    Get a divorce lawyer to support and represent you.

We cannot say this enough: do not attempt to handle your divorce alone – especially if you have significant assets, such as a business or additional property, or if you have minor children. You want a smart divorce attorney who is a strong negotiator and strategist, and who is dependable and supportive of clients and their needs. Ask the people you know to recommend a good attorney, and tell them the kind of attributes you are looking for. Work with a lawyer who will protect your interests and not cave in to overly aggressive counsel on the other side.

If you are considering divorce, or if you have been served divorce papers, there are steps that you can take to make sure that divorce does not ruin the rest of your life. It begins with hiring the right Nashville divorce attorney.

The highly qualified Nashville divorce attorneys at Miller Upshaw Family Law, PLLC, are here to represent your interests during one of the most challenging times of your life. Our experienced Nashville divorce attorneys will discuss your options and recommend best next steps. Please call 615-391-4200 or use our contact form to reserve an in-person or video consultation with our dedicated legal team.