Your divorce is final. The day that you have been waiting for is finally here. This is the day your new life begins, but even if you initiated the divorce, you may not be fully prepared for the emotional impact that ending a marriage brings. Because no one ever warns you about how hard it will be, or how tangled up your emotions might be, here are a few practical tips to help you to navigate the emotional landmine of being freshly divorced.

1. Take a minute to take it all in.

Whether you were married for three years or three decades, the end of a marriage brings difficult emotions that others who have not experienced it may not understand. Acknowledge the end of your marriage and the beginning of your new life. Allow yourself to grieve, to feel relief, or even to celebrate; those feelings that are perfectly natural, and you should allow yourself to feel them.

2. Check-in with your children and make sure that they understand all the changes going on in their lives.

How are your children handling all the changes that the divorce has brought about? Make sure that you connect with your children and let them know that you are available to them whenever they are ready to talk about how they are feeling. If you can, arrange for them to spend time with a child psychologist who can help guide them through this challenging time. Sharing age-appropriate details about what is happening will help them feel like they are part of the process of building your new life, keeping in mind that you should never disparage their other parent in so doing.

3. Indulge in your favorite forms of nurturing self-care.

Whether you enjoy a spa day, a hot yoga class, or long soaks in your own bathtub, find tangible ways to focus on taking care of yourself. You have just survived a very difficult experience. Take the time to give yourself the attention and care that you need so that you can dive back in to your life and begin again.

4. Forgive yourself and your former spouse

Forgiveness is the first step to healing and moving on with your life. Nursing grudges and blaming others for your problems only serves to keep them alive. Forgive yourself for whatever you perceive to be your fault in the demise of the marriage, and forgive your former spouse for whatever you believe was his or her part. This will clear the decks and allow you to move ahead without constantly looking back.

5. Have a follow up meeting with your divorce attorney.

Schedule some alone time to read the divorce decree, and then schedule a follow up meeting with your divorce attorney if you have any last questions. You may be given a post-divorce “to do” list, including:

• Changing your name
• Opening a new bank account in your own name
• Closing any accounts or credit cards your ex-spouse had access or permission to use
• Updating your driver’s license and passport with your new name
• Updating your will and estate plan
• Updating your insurance policies and retirement accounts with new beneficiaries
• Updating your online passwords (if you have not done this already)

If you are looking for fierce advocates, the skilled Nashville divorce attorneys at Miller Upshaw Family Law, PLLC, are here to represent your interests through all the difficulties of divorce. We answer your questions and recommend best next steps for you. Please call 615-391-4200 or use our contact form to reserve an in-person or video consultation with our dedicated legal team.